Yesterday was a good writing day.
Trying to write a manuscript (book) and maintain a blog has been an exercise in faith. I know how silly that sounds. But in my shoes, it’s a REAL issue. Every time I make a new post, it takes “creativity tokens” out of my “creativity bank”. Every time I write a devotion or another entry in my journal, more tokens are taken. And sometimes I truly worry that I have nothing left to contribute to the “book”. I worry that all the tokens will be gone. That’s where faith comes in.
I’m trying to do all things God is asking me to do; and mostly, it doesn’t feel overwhelming. But can I tell you a secret? It is a little scary and nervy.
Maybe I can best describe it like riding a crazy new roller coaster. I love roller coasters! The wilder and scarier the better! So, I get on the ride, I see all the signs warning me and providing instruction. I have my seatbelt and harness on and the safety bar is in place. I listen to the overhead announcer reminding me to keep my hands and feet inside the car at all times and to enjoy the ride. But regardless of the instructions and precautions given… my heart feels like it’s gonna beat out of my chest. I leave the loading station and start the climb up the track. Click-click-click-click. Up I go to begin the ride. My palms sweat, my eyes are wide open and I start to uncontrollably laugh. I wonder what type of mess I’ve gotten into. I wonder if there is a panic button I can press and stop the ride in the event I’ve changed my mind… And before I can complete that thought, I am racing on the roller coaster track at neck break speed. It’s thrilling, exhilarating and my heart is in my stomach. I’m zooming along safely in my car, belted in and actually starting to feel comfortable. Then a new twist…yes, actually a twist, turn and loop (or two loops) in the track just to get my pulse and adrenaline going all over again.
And that’s what it’s like. A thrilling (and scary) ride. It takes a lot of faith to get in that car and trust that everything is gonna work out in the end and that I’ll arrive back at the loading station in one piece. And you know what is the craziest part? When I’m getting out of the car, I say “I wanna go again!” and get back in line to face the same process all over again.
And you know what else? Having faith that the “creativity tokens” won’t run out reminds me of a great story of the Woman from Zarephath. See, the story goes that God sent Elijah to this woman during a great famine. She barely had enough flour and oil to make bread for her and her son. It was such a bad situation that she thought she would die from starvation. And then there is Elijah; a prophet of God asking for bread. Another mouth to impossibly feed… This woman, with faith, does as Elijah asks; she brings him water and bread from her scarce and precious supply. And then the miracle: she never ran out of oil and flour. She fed Elijah and her son and herself… for a long period of time. The oil jug and flour jar seemed to be bottomless. The way I see it, she never ran out of “tokens”.
So if God ways write, I write. If I say, I don’t think I have another story to tell, He says sit and write….and I do. And miraculously, another story comes out. Faithful obeidance is hard work. I’m serious. And it’s something that doesn’t come “naturally” to me. It’s almost like it takes faith to have faith. So I will continue to try to write and not fear that I’ll run out of “creativity tokens”. I can write all things through Him that strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
