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A super smart person told me, “Sherry, you write for you, not others…”. Amongst other nuggets of wisdom, they went on to explain that God gives ME topics to write about because it applies to me, it’s something I need to learn and/or work out; not you. But if anyone gets something extra out of my personal development (and writing), then that’s a bonus. This is proving to be 101% true.
Right now I’m sitting at the computer, feeling so much pain in my sciatic nerve that I can barely concentrate on reading or writing. This pain is new to me, and has an effect on everything I do; it becomes an undercurrent to even the simple and mundane.
As the morning wore on, I kept getting up to stretch, walk, etc… I’d get up to find another pillow to try to make sitting more comfortable. And just like Goldilocks, everything was either too big, too small…and unlike Goldilocks, I never found anything that was “just right”. So I got up again and again, distracting myself from the task at hand: reading some scripture and hoping for inspiration to write a devotional. I was starting to give in to procrastination; but then I got a second wind and became determined; I was not going to let this pain control me – I was going to sit down and read!
I was so scattered and without a reading plan I didn’t know what to read. I was tempted to let this be another distraction. Then in frustration I grabbed the closest Devotional Journal on my desk and opened to where the bookmark lay. I forced myself to sit and read as I was led to Psalms 4. There I read: Answer me when I call to You my righteous God; give me relief from my distress, be merciful to me and hear my prayer. Psalm 4:1
Well I’ll be! God set me straight as I sat in awe and giggled to myself knowing that this moment of reading was orchestrated; that what I would read would hit the nail squarely on the head in relation to my current disposition. See, I’ve been praying a lot lately, for many things; sometimes the needs feel impossible and tremendous. And if you hadn’t guessed, I’ve also been praying for my back and sciatica to get better; for my discs to miraculously rehydrate and for a couple of those naughty vertebrae to not touch each other.
A good thing to read today. But I still had no inspiration to write and my back was still screaming, not to mention that I think I’ve caught another cold. I’m trying to not be a downer, but the complaints do seem to go on-and-on.
I got up to walk about and had this odd epiphany as I was mentally reviewing my “aches, pains and complains”. It was: Each of these things will be used for His glory OR each of these things will be used for his glory. It’s your choice.
That sentence may not make sense to you outside of my head, so let me restate it: Each of these things (my aches, pains and complaints) will be used for God’s glory, or if I allow it, each of these things will be used for satan’s glory.
Now, I’m not one to label daily trials as spiritual warfare. But, if I’m of any importance to satan and there is spiritual warfare in the simple mundane “aches, pains and complaints” then I just realized I might be in the war zone. When I think of spiritual warfare, I think extreme stuff – like Job; my life (thank you God) has no resemblance to Job. Job’s story is the perfect example of a spiritual warfare, attack after attack after attack; that guy could not catch a break. But regardless of his situation (and spiritual warfare), he was a determined guy. He was not going to back down, in the end he would have all his aches, pains and complaints serve to demonstrate God’s glory – not satan’s.
So here I sit with an example, knowledge, and choice. My aches, pains and complaints will either give glory to God or satan. My disposition will either openly show praise or complaint. I can do my part by being positive, giving God glory, while angels are getting Soiled Wings on my behalf.
Clearly today my writing is for me. It was something I needed to look at and work through. So satan, if you’re listening, if you’re subscribing to this blog, I’m on to you. I may be in pain, sitting and reading and writing, but I won’t stop. I may get stressed, not knowing what tomorrow brings or what will happen with this economy. I may catch cold after cold. I may be filled with sorrow of the events in the news and all might seem hopeless. But I’m on to you and I consciously choose to give glory to God in these things. Not you.
Two verses come to mind when I think of these things. A favorite standby and a more menacing yet smart verse of caution:
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8
Do you ever feel like you’re being pulled down into a pit of despair? What do you do to crawl out?
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so you have degenerated discs also.My S5-L1 and L1-L2 and L2-L3 are just about gone and im only 46.I can relate to your pain.I have been poked,pricked,prodded,stuck & sliced in my lower back.I can share with you what has worked for me & what hasnt if you’re interested.
Thanks David. Yup you’ve got it. It just sucks. I’ll have to email you to find out your best tips and tricks
I loved your opening statement! I have been struggling and needed to read it is ok to write for me!
SO, back to my laptop for more writing!!
BTW girlfriend, will be praying to the Great Physician for your back and sciatica nerve pain!
Thanks Bridgit – prayers ALWAYS appreciated
And yes, it was a pastor who gave me that nugget of wisdom. He went as far as to say that when he preaches, it’s about what God wants him to look at, not what the congregation needs to be told. I see more and more truth in that, and it changes how I feel about writing and what I write. It becomes a true internal passion. You write about the very things God needs you to write about – and thus that should be where the most insights and true comes from…right? Keep writing, and write ONLY from your heart 
Hi Sherry,
As you know I feel your pain. When I read your daily writing I can’t help but feel cheated that I wasn’t blessed with you in my early stages of my health issues. What I find most interesting about the Lords timeing, is that you have the gift of putting into words on a page for all to see and use for His glory the thoughts and feelings that I have had for some 16 years. I love that God has blessed me with you. That you have chosen to share your gift to anyone that wants to listen. Knowledge is wisdom, and you my dear have obtained much knowledge (WISDOM) in your short life. For me, you hit the proverbial nail on the head. You my friend are on my toothpaste. I hope I can help you, as you have helped me. Love you GG
Oh Glenda – thank you for having me on your toothpaste. That means so much (ok I gotta stop you’re making me cry!).
Hey Sherry,
Just wanted to say thanks for a great blog. I needed to hear what you had to say today. I feel like I’m in the middle of a war as well and things don’t look good for the home team. However, I am SO grateful to know that I’m on the winning side for eternity, no matter how grim and confusing things may be now. I’ll be praying for your back as well. I have lots of issues with mine too so I feel your pain. Take care and thanks again.
Judy, thank you. You are all in my prayers, I prayed for you, Lauren and famil this morning – that there would be wisdom to make the right choices. Lauren broke some news on FB yesterday, so I think I understand the chaotic feelings you all must be going through.
Well for someone who staretd out with nothing to say, you sure ended with some incredible words I needed to hear (and as I see from the other comments, so did a lot of other people). Thanks as always, for sharing what YOU needed because it always seems to be what I need, and continues to be the best gift I have ever received!
As always, thanks for reading and sharing. This blog…when freinds and strangers stop to say hi…it’s like getting together for coffee and having a great conversation (oh make that an iced tea for me).