Something has always bothered me in regards to the way I feel about a particular thing…to the point that I have to air my dirty laundry.
What is that saying? “misery loves company”… So maybe some of you will pipe up and let me know I’m not completely abnormal in what I’m going to confess.
I get happy when I come home from a vacation. PERIOD. FINITO!
I should be grateful and wish for nothing more than enjoying my vacation spot when I’m away. I feel like I should be able to fall into the bliss of vacation and yearn for the holiday to never end. I should be fully in the moment and not elsewhere. And to some extent I am entirely grateful and wish to hold certain moments of vacation in slow motion and savor each and every bit of juicy goodness. In fact the first several days I am in utter joy. But deep inside, something is happening in the furthest crevices of the well of my heart; a pool of longing starts to build. It is the deep spring that has the capacity to flood a city; it is the flood that eventually comes over me. It is that I secretly long for “home”.
Some people wallow in melancholy and sadness as vacation winds down to an end…but I get energized and anxious. I am packing my bags to go home long before it’s “appropriate”.
This year on the last full-day of vacation, I pondered these things and watched my niece and nephews with curiosity.
(By-the-way, the picture is them: Kaycie, Ryan and Brad – they are amazing super great kids – I love them to pieces! And they rock on boogie boards.)
Anyways, it seemed to me that on the last day of vacation, they could not be satisfied. Not in a bratty selfish way; rather it was as though they became desperate; like a person binging at a glorious banquet table the day before beginning a diet. They nibbled on every activity and meal, finished nothing and scurried about like panicked ants when the rain starts to come. Their moods were all over the place and my heart panged at their visible discomfort. Not even the ocean they loved could contain them, for they were over sun-baked and sand-blasted. They started to pick and push each others buttons, till the rolling snowball became an avalanche. I admired the patience and calm my brother and sister-in-law tried to masquerade while their children were in the final throws of the day. I wish I could have just held my niece and nephews and reassured them that the vacation wasn’t really over and that they held all the memories in their minds. I wish I could have let them know that the school year starting in two days would be fine and they would actually feel good with the routine of teachers, recess and hot lunches. I wish I could explain to them that maybe what they felt was a touch of homesickness and that it was okay to just roll with that longing. But I knew too well how they felt; there is no explanation from Mom, Dad or their Aunt that would suffice, nor would there be any methods of calming the soul when it reaches the rolling boil. For I had been in their shoes once before too. I knew exactly how they felt.
But now that I’m all grown up (kind of), it’s so different. I have heard it said many times that you know you’ve had a good vacation when you are rested and have had enough fun and you are ready to return to the daily routine of home and life.
Being ready to go home is it’s own type of “rolling boil“. It’s the type of rolling boil that makes grown-up people irate in airport terminals and baggage claim…in fact you can count on it every Thanksgiving and Christmas…people just want to get home (whatever home is). You can’t calm them or say anything to make it better. Boiling water will either evaporate or cool; both take time and there is little you can do to speed up the process.
The short of this is that there ARE things I love about vacations; but it really comes down to two very simple things:
- I love spending quality and quantity time with the person(s) I’m on vacation with.
- A vacation makes me appreciate my home and my day-to-day life.
Well, that’s it. I love coming home from vacation. It’s my dirty secret. And now that I’m home, “ahhhhh…” MY pillow on OUR bed feels so incredibly good!