Right Now I Know…

Right now I know that:

  • I love God more than I ever have in my life
  • my feelings get hurt when someone misunderstands me
  • I still feel like a child when I’m alone
  • I have a cupboard full of tubs of cotton candy, for when I need a fix
  • I love writing, I get scared writing, I can’t stop writing
  • it’s a daily act of courage to be myself, without a mask
  • my husband accepts my quirks and oddities, and still loves me
  • I love the rain, but I’m ready for the sun
  • I still have issues with “the church” – but I LOVE mine
  • I still have issues with “Christians” – but I am one
  • I hope that I am part of the cure
  • I’m supposed to love you…
  • …I don’t always feel love for you
  • I don’t know why God would choose me, it makes me humble
  • I connect with misfits, I feel kinship
  • I believe in angels and demons, in a real, too real, way
  • I feel joy when laughing in the presence of friends
  • an hour of fellowship can cure a week of depression
  • I think I sing pretty good, but I’m frightened to perform
  • the older I get, the more I miss my family
  • I’ve been a jerk in my early career years…
  • …and I can’t change that
  • I miss a friend, and don’t know how to reconnect
  • it’s easier to talk to Jesus than God, yet I know they are one-in-the-same
  • I don’t like babies
  • sometimes get worried I made the wrong choice to not have children
  • sometimes I wonder what my little girl would have looked like
  • I know she would have had the stubbornness and wild heart like her mom
  • I always wish I was 2 sizes smaller
  • I still cry when I sing “old rugged cross” – I can’t control those emotions
  • pink, black, and leopard print are best
  • there are people who did things to me that I didn’t think I could forgive…
  • …but I did, and continue to renew that each time I feel the hurt again
  • I believe God works on my heart, making it healed with each beat
  • I personally know the Jesus that smiles and laughs
  • my heart is widely fluttering because there are people reading this that judge me unfairly

What do you want others to know that you certain of…right now?

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10 thoughts on “Right Now I Know…

  1. If you ever wonder why I look foward to reading all this every week,those statements pretty well sum it up.

  2. Wow – what raw to the core honesty – how could anyone judge you unfairly after sharing such deep thoughts? So many of the things you said were like you were reading my mind and boy its hard honestly looking at myself and knowing how I want to be and then living that way. I just have to say WOW again – thanks!
    And by the way, your writing is why God chose you – you are changing lives for the better!

  3. Right now I know that God is breaking me down a bit to build me up stronger, that I miss feeling like I am a part of something, and that I am greatful for my friend Sherry and blessed to have her in my life! ♥

    • Beth, God can do amazing things with brokeness. The important thing is to not sit too long looking at our skinned up knees and feeling sorry for ourselves.

      “Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow. ” ~Mary Anne Radmacher

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