It’s infuriating when someone takes claim/credit for your hard work.
You put all this time into a concept or project, only for your boss/co-worker/competitor to take all the credit—as if the idea was theirs alone.
Over lunch you casually discuss client strategies and marketing ideas with a colleague, only to discover a week later that your colleague has a new relationship with your client or is using your idea for their gain.
Your aunt brings a dish to the potluck and receives all the glory for a recipe you gave her a year ago—and like vinegar to a wound, it’s a recipe you created.
You and your sibling go in together on flowers for mom—months later you find out they neglected (forgot?) to put your name on the card.
All summer you’ve been talking at the work lunch-table about a jacket you’re going to get this fall. And on the first barely-cold-enough-fall day, your co-worker waltzes in wearing the very jacket you’ve been dreaming about.
You’ve been had, ripped off, and it’s not fair. As I see it you’ve got a few choices:
2) Flight; or
3) Dig It.
I’ve done the fight thing several times. Bet you have too. It rarely works, right? In fact an unfair issue becomes even more unfair as you start looking like an unreasonable person making mountains out of molehills. In an ironic twist of circumstances the offender becomes the peacemaker and we… the trouble-maker.
Now I’ll admit, sometimes you must fight. But we’ve got to pick our battles wisely. I wish I knew who to credit this brilliant phrase that sums it up: It doesn’t make sense to put $10 worth of energy on a 10-cent problem. Wow! It makes good “cents” (sense) to determine if it’s a 10-cent issue before wasting your time and energy.
Ahh, the flight tactic to conflict. Basically in this circumstance, it equates to being a doormat. Sorry did that sting?
Actually there are times to take flight when someone else steals your credit. Maybe you’ve done the fight thing, and it turned out really bad. Or perhaps you’re not a confrontational person. Many of us would rather flee a conflict than take a stand. Either way, you’re not making waves. You’re keeping the peace. Often when it comes to “who deserves the credit”—it’s a bone not worth picking. You drop this issue and never revisit it again.
This is fine if you’re dealing with a one-time 10-cent issue. But if the matter, matters—or the cents are adding up into big bucks then look out. One day the accumulated flight-behavior will catch up with you. It could be a melt-down, break-down, eruption, or heart-attack. One way to fight your flight is the last idea:
“Dig It” is my new favorite. And I credit the idea to Isaac (see I’m giving credit where credit is due). When I think of “Dig It” it also equates to what Winston Churchill famously said, “Never, never, never quit.”
Churchill used three nevers… and Isaac “dug it” three times. Here’s the story:
Buried into Genesis 26 is a short retelling of Isaac (the same kid who almost literally got the “axe” from his dad, Abraham).
Isaac is a grown man, doing really well. I mean really well. In fact we’re told, “Isaac planted crops…and the same year reaped a hundredfold…the man became rich, and his wealth continued to grow until he became very wealthy…he had so many flocks and herds and servants that the Philistines envied him.”
Philistine King Abimelek is one of the envious, and he tells Isaac to take a hike! Isaac is too much of a mega-mogul for Abimelek’s ego.
For whatever reason Isaac took flight and didn’t fight. Isaac gets the super-mega-combo-pack of boxes from U-Haul and moves on out to the Valley of Gerar. A desert-y sandy place. And orders his hired help to dig a water-well for his family, posse, and flocks / herds / servants.
Between you and me: digging a well in the desert sounds…ridiculous.
Regardless, Isaac’s servants dug and found water. Woo Hoo! Time to settle in and start building up the wealth again! But the herders of Gerar quarreled with Isaac and said, “Hey! That water is ours!”
They laid claim to Isaac’s hard work. Not just once – but THREE times.
See, after the first water-well, Isaac’s crew dug another well, but again the herders quarreled and laid claim to that water too. So, Isaac dug one more time. Third time’s the charm. This time no one opposed him. Finally!
Isaac’s choice to “Dig It” tells me a lot about life’s circumstances and to “never, never, never quit.”
If you are blessed with abundance and great ideas—there will always be people waiting to lay claim to your stuff. In this life you can count on conflict and struggles.
Dig It isn’t about Flight or Fight – it’s about peaceful perseverance. It’s about being the little engine that could. It’s about a simple yet powerful quote, “Never, never, never quit.”
Yup, I Dig It.