Time Out Chair

You and me. We’re not so different.

I know you’re not always a brave or cheery as you claim to be.

I know you wonder what they really think.

I know you have been looking in the mirror too long. Noticing lines, bumps, gravity.

I know you eat cookies fast, because somehow that makes it not count. I know you throw away fast-food wrappers before you get home. I know you toss out receipts and remove retail tags before anyone can see you’ve been shopping. I know you cut the size-tag off clothes when the manufacturer erroneously adds four more sizes than you know yourself to be…or puts an X by your L.

I know you laugh, when nothing is funny at all. I know you don’t cry in front of others, because it’s just not worth the effort anymore.

I know you’re worried about that issue that isn’t getting better. You think your life is an utter mess and you’re working to keep things chaotically managed.

I know you look at them and think they have it all together. They have all the gifts, talents, a great job, ministry, and purpose that you lack…and you think that maybe you didn’t get anything special from your Maker.  (or you missed the boat somewhere along the way)

I know you think you are ordinary.



I know because I’ve been there… and sometimes I’m still there. In and out. Off and on.

But know this:  You. Are. Not. Ordinary.

And, like you, I’ve been skeptical of those words. But something Max Lucado wrote (Cure for the Common Life) rings truth in my heart, “You are the only you God made… God made you and broke the mold.


Why is that?

Why you?

Just like you are?

It’s almost unfathomable to think you have a purpose when all you do is scrutinize your size, your face, your talents, your work, your troubles, and feel envy of others smaller size, better face, greater talents, larger group of friends and better work.

So here’s the truth, you have something that no one else has.

And you might not even be sure what it is… but you have this spark—this dream. Maybe it’s BIG and you just want to believe it. Or it’s tiny and you’re not even sure it’s there. Maybe it’s something so odd and quirky that you’re certain this can’t be “your special thing.”

For some people, it’s icing cupcakes, being a mom, or leading a small group of three. And yet we look to those who’s special thing is writing New York Time best sellers. We think they are better, got the better gift. This comparing…is wrong. It must stop.

When I start thinking terrible, horrible things about myself—when I have been less than kind to my thoughts and feelings— when I don’t feel loved—special—or needed, I send myself on a time out.

Just like a child, each hurting thought needs to be addressed. Ignoring hurting children doesn’t work, nor does it for your feelings. So welcome them. Love and address them.

Take a time out and sit down with your thoughts. Write down the thing—things—bugging you. Once you get that out of your system, THEN focus on what is amazing and unique about you.

Once, during a time out— after welcoming and addressing my hurts and issues that day—I then started my “what’s so amazing about me” list. The first and only thing I could think was, “…I can fold fitted sheets really well.” It’s all I had. That was where I was at. So that’s where I started. Sometimes you gotta start small— you have to see the trees before the forest will appear. And if you sit and think and write long enough, the unique forest of you will start to come into focus. It will.

We all have something so unique about us. And if we really focused on that one thing, and disregarded what others think, and how they are being, and how they are doing big great things that we want for ourselves—we would start to shine our own unique light.

We’d become authentic. And in opening up to that idea, we could realize the amazing thing we were molded to do.

But if we keep focusing on others, and feeling envy and inadequacy—there is a risk. A BIG RISK. You could miss the amazing part of you that no one else has. Sure, it’s possible that your “special thing” will look similar to others, but there is a faction of something that sets you apart from the rest.

What is it?

So grab a notepad and pen, and sit in the time-out chair. Close your eyes and get there. We all deserve a chair like this. We need to sit our butts in the chair and absorb the message. And when you’re ready, open your eyes and write the great things you are on that notepad or journal. Be dramatic. Exaggerate when you write…because the words you scribe are only the initial spark of potential your Maker sees and knows.

We are Loved. Special. Unique. Made with Purpose. On Purpose.

Yes, you and me, we’re not so different. We are not ordinary. We are extraordinary.

You weren’t an accident. You weren’t mass produced. You aren’t an assembly-line product. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on the earth by the Master Craftsman.”  ~ Max Lucado, The Christmas Candle

Copyright © 2009- 2011 Sherry Meneley . All Rights Reserved . soiledwings.com . sherrymeneley.com . soiled wings createHEART create heart truth soulution soul’ution life coach coaching

9 thoughts on “Time Out Chair

  1. Wow Sherry – this is incredbile, beautiful and so true. I love the idea of a time out and writing about what’s bugging me, then what’s amazing about me – although I’m sure the first list will be much longer. 🙂 Over time though, imagine how this process can really change someone for the better! Amazing idea my friend! Thank you.

  2. Well, I definitely know one of your gifts: magical words! Thanks for the fantastic post. My problem is I recognize my gifts more than I used to, but now I beat myself up over not getting more, more, MORE accomplished every day. Sigh. There are other things too. Aren’t there always? BTW, I could really use a good fitted sheet folding tutor. 😉

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