It Happens

This new idea is ridiculous.
And yet it’s helped me tremendously.

In the last year—possibly longer—but certainly in the last year—I’ve had a very deliberate and conscious thought. It’s so simple, yet overwhelmingly complex. And it is this:

This thing going on—this circumstance—it’s happening— it’s here—to help me.

It’s here to help me.

And no matter what good or bad comes my way, somehow it’s known.  It’s known about, on a level far greater than I’ll ever understand. That understanding and great knowledge and masterplanning—I attribute it to God. You may call it “the powers to be” or maybe even “the universe.” Either way, there is an Almighty Knower and Designer that connects what seemed unrelated dots, knows the key to every lock, and answer to every question. And for whatever reason, It has chosen to not stop whatever is happening.

It’s a perplexing mystery that can be a hard pill to swallow. Especially when it results in hardship, trial, suffering, and heartache. Yet there is a lesson—always—in whatever happened. And I have come to trust that eventually the circumstance WILL help me. It’s here to help me.

This week I went to the doctor for an annual check-up. This means I have to step on the scale—you know, the one that adds seven pounds. Well it had those seven pounds and a few extra for good measure. The check in nurse made an audible note of it. I steamed—“who does that young skinny office girl think she is?” This is a simple example. That girl ticking me off—her poor bedside manner—it was there to help me.

…catalyst for my spring and summer wardrobe.

In a very special on-line group I belong to, I read of a mom trying to drive home with the kids in the back seat. She went to see her brother before he left on tour in Afghanistan. They got to laugh, share, and pray. Driving home with bitter-sweet heartbreak, her simple trip home turned out all wrong. Unbeknownst to her, a headlight was out, she got pulled over, got a fix-it ticket on a dark lonely road. She cried in-front of the kids. Then to make matters worse, she wound up with food poisoning and was sick to her stomach. Pulling over every 30-minutes helped to keep the car clean. And guess what? All this was happening to help her.

…do you think home felt sweet than ever? …a new level of gratitude? …do you think the kids loved on mom? Yeah. And who knows what else will be learned and discovered. Could each of the diversions—the ticket, the dozen pullovers—was she being protected from arriving at the wrong place at the wrong time? Life has a way of slowing uncovering the truths.

And then there’s the things we don’t want to look at. But it’s important. Like the dad who killed his wife. Then did away with himself and his bitty little children by blowing up the home with all inside. Horrific. Senseless. I know. Yet, this circumstance was there to help. I have to believe this.

…in the oddest of means, perhaps those innocent children gone, it’s helped them in ways we’ll thankfully never know.

I’m talking with a client and she has no idea what her purpose is in life. We’re working together and in the midst of the work, she lost her job. Yup, you know the drill—this is happening to help her.

…now? She’s suddenly driven to live the dream and do the thing she didn’t know she could do. Sure it took some adjustments. But you should hear her—she found some passion and is a brave chic on fire! Yes she’s nervous, but she sees these things are happening to help her.

Somehow, through the last several years, among all the junk that’s happened to me and others—I’ve been seeing a trend. There is reason for all this stuff. Personally, I’ve been blessed enough to be shown nearly all the reasons why the “you know what” has hit the fan. Perhaps I’m finding the answers because I’m earnestly looking.

And maybe embracing the truth of “this is happening to help me” has changed my brain. And seeped into my heart. It’s made a positive difference. Sure things still hurt like crazy and I’ve seen myself and others in hard dark places. But…there is a light, a truth to be discovered. Like buried treasure in a pile of merde.

Look, I know personally—sometimes it’s hard to see it. And our hurt turns into bitter and twists to hate. At anything and anyone. And sometimes we get so stuck there – and then it gets that much harder to ever see the reason. The help. But let me encourage you to try a little exercise.

Pull out a sheet of paper and write down everything that could result from what you’re feeling depressed, angry, or hopeless over. Since you’ll need to get all the bad results out of your system—write those down first. Then try turning it around. Just a bit. What could be a neutral result? There are some—find them then write them down.

THEN get creative, write down the good things you might learn. Why could this possibly be happening to help you? Go wild with ideas. Be ridiculous. Because what I’ve learned is that when something is happening to help me—it’s usually wild. It’s something where I didn’t know I needed help. My guess is, you’re gonna find some perspective.

And here’s the truth we already know: our maturity and spiritual growth and purpose rarely if ever happens though an “easy time.” Nope, that type of change happens because things got rough. So, tell me sweet friend, how is IT happening to help you?

© 2009-2012 Sherry Meneley All Rights Reserved soiled wings createHEART create heart truth soulution soul’ution life coach coaching art journal

13 thoughts on “It Happens

  1. Excellent post, Sherry! I love your writing exercise! It always helps me to write down my thoughts, especially during a crisis. I can begin to see myself from a more objective viewpoint, and the writing process brings healing.

    • Thanks Karen – and yeah, couldn’t agree more. I think anytime we use an analytical tool when we’re stuck helps. Or as I like to say: it’s gets you off the therapist coach and into the therapist chair – there’s always greater perspective from that view point.

  2. Dearest Sherry… EVERYTHING is purposed. You have undoubtedly taken up the “Ministry” of Reconciliaton. EVERYONE and Everything IS Christ without question. This is TRUE. If you are ASLEEP to this, then you are “dead to that” and in need of Salvation-Resurrection, or “Awakening.” You cannot perceive the Kingdom without yourself and your world being COMPLETELY ALTERED. EVERYTHING passing away; EVERYTHING becoming Uniquely New. I am also a 64 year old homeless man, ex-con, certified lunatic who loves a good smoke. YET, up to something Completely Grand in this world, seeking Kindred Lovers who too So Love the World… I chose YOU as unique out ot ALL the religious blogs.

    • Pan you are very interesting – even your name brings a smile to my heart. I watched your videos and find your tone peacful and manner very kind and honest. Mercy Travels.

  3. Awesome post! And thank you so much for the free “coaching” exercise – it couldn’t have come at a better time. I know what I’ll be spending some quality time doing this weekend.

    • You’re so welcome. This could also be an easy “art journal prompt.” Here’s how:
      1) do part one – write the junk in pencil – then paint a transparent light color over it
      2) do part two – write the neutral right over the junk in a black (ultra-fine) pen
      3) now go to your computer and write the good stuff, the possible lessons, put it in a font you love, print and then cut the sentences out in strips and paste over your journal page.
      You’ll still be able to see some of #1 and #2 – but what will stand out is #3. Very very good art journaling exercise that will be a keepsake.

  4. Oh Sherry! You have hit the nail on the head 🙂 “Like buried treasure in a pile of merde.” I’ve got plenty of merde and I know there is buried treasure there too, whether it be going through it to bring out the gold in others or the gold in myself, He is refining, purifying, shaping, and there is definitely purpose in it! My friend recently said to me, “the grass isn’t greener on the other side, it’s greener over the septic tank!” I’m learning to have a new appreciation for the septic tank. 🙂

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