There is one simple question I pose to myself often. Especially when I feel out of sorts. Or disconnected. Or, as I often call it, “floopy.”
And in all fair disclosure, sometimes I pose the same to my clients/students. And it is this:
“What/Who am I becoming?”
(What/Who are you becoming?)
And of course this exercise means nothing, nada, zilch—unless we’re gut-wrenchingly honesty. Honesty forces me to answer from a place of uncomfortable emotions. Usually it’s those icky type of emotions that got me thinking about some self-introspection in the first place.
With a deep breath of “it’s okay—be honest—just say it” the words start to roll off:
“I’m becoming bitter…distrustful…resentful…withdrawn…distant…fearful.
“I’m becoming old…unhealthy…out of shape…a size bigger than I like.”
Then I re-answer the question in ways that are usually harder for me and everyone who is being real and human. And this is a REALLY important step. With another deep breath of “it’s okay, now let’s look at this with some kindness” the new words come with less ease. But they do come, because I never give up on finding the truth. With caution and slow ink I might write:
“I’m becoming stronger…wiser…more self-assured…independent…super honest…faithful…accepting of my own humanness…other’s humanness…understanding…genuinely authentic.
“I’m becoming beautiful on the inside…compassionate…tender…a better sleeper…humble…a teacher—honored and blessed to attend to the souls that God sends my way.”
And I just love where this question goes. Not where it starts—but where it goes.
I see my struggles and strengths. And usually the strengths are arising from the struggles. Tender gorgeous tulips emerge from the winter’s frozen ground. A ground crawler, trapped in a chrysalis, grows wings. It’s the beauty that comes from ashes.
And if by chance I’m stuck in a pit, and the good lessons and ways of growth aren’t appearing to me—then I know I need some perspective. And I seek out help from those I trust who have been in my shoes and came out the other side in ways I respect.
When we ask these questions, we can find the true potential in problems. Help in perceived hopelessness. Strength from the never-ending struggle of this life. Truth from our initial lies.
And so, honestly, who are you becoming?
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