Throwing Fragile Eggs

egg_wingsIgnoring your fragileness is the quickest way to break.

I could end the post there.
That’s certainly is enough to think about.
But perhaps I should expand…just a bit.

It’s the New Year. Self-help book sales are through the roof. The DIY-get-better, coaching blogs, free diet / motivation / encouragement apps and such are getting high-volume hits.

Even Oprah is shouting out how this is going to be your best life ever! And all this supercharged stuff make us believe that ONCE-AND-FOR-ALL we can do it! It pushes us to think we are invincible. And so we jump out into awesomeness.

We are gonna fly.

(then what)

HOW EGGS FLY
Everyone knows that if you throw a freshly hatched egg into the air, it will look amazing going up. Great propulsion. Amazing heights. But then as it reaches the highest point it begins a downward descent that most likely will end with a terrible outcome.

Smash.
Crack.
Splat.
Fin.

We know that winged things can come from eggs. But throw an egg into the sky, and you should already KNOW it will not sprout wings on the way up.

Or down.

Because eggs take time to fly. They take time to become winged things.

And friend, every new thought, idea, want, wish, and prayer starts as an egg on the way.

Um, did you notice I said “on the way.” Yes, that’s because it’s new, it’s not even in the nest yet. It’s “on the way.”

CARING FOR EGGS
I’m not here to be the New Years party-pooper. I mean…I AM a coach. I absolutely DO believe in gathering your guts and hatching eggs and flying (again there needs to be an egg – never force an egg to appear when one is not on the way).

What I am saying is, please don’t forget how fragile you are. How fresh and new that egg is. If you forget this precious new thing in you is still an egg that needs nesting and warming and nurturing then some terrible things can happen. So please, PLEASE, P.L.E.A.S.E. take that seriously. Because I for one do not want you to fail. No one needs another Smash.Crack.Splat.disappointment.

Those disappointments often lead to complete abandonment (after a bucket of tears). And that type of crash leads to fear of flying. A fear of trying. A fear of hatching eggs. Hopelessness.

MY OLD AND NEW EGGS
It’s safe to tell you now, because it’s been a year and my work is mostly done. Last year my “word” that Divinely came to me was “hope.” The word that I’m supposed to work on and nurture and care and learn all the way into my bones.

And I hated it.
I even told God, “You’re wrong.”

I hated it because there were areas I refused to have any “hope.” There were areas I had no idea how to have “hope.” Because, me, the coach that should know better, tossed some eggs into the air before they were ready to fly. Lack of patience, poor decisions, and mistakes.

My first clue should have been that they were still eggs. My second clue was, the eggs had just hatched when I tossed them into the air. It was still a new idea, venture, relationship, etc…

I tossed them with all my effort. High. Amazing. And…not ready.

So last year with old broken shells about me, I sat with a new egg called hope. Despising it. Detesting it. Looking at that “hope egg” like it was some ugly duckling egg that landed in my swan’s nest. It took a long time for me to finally sit on that egg and own it. And in doing my own inner-work, hope finally hatched. Even then I didn’t toss it into the air. The wings were just beginning to dry. To take shape.

And then a day came and I knew it was time. Taking the most frightening steps, I started to have real hope. In areas I thought all hope was lost, hope began to fly.

YOU AND YOUR EGG
And you can too. You can fly. But be gentle with yourself. Know that it isn’t easy.

All the books and media tell you that you should just grab your dream and run and FLY! I’m not sure who that is working for. In fact all of my clients learn to be gentle with themselves. I won’t allow egg-throwing. Because when you say you are going to do something, you really do need to prove that you can do it. The opposite is complete disregard for your fragileness. It’s the worst kind of blasphemy.

Not to be cliché, but it’s true: baby steps. It’s about micro-movements. It’s about doing 1% every day. It’s about saying you’ll exercise for 5-minutes each day and doing it.

I won’t let my clients tell me they are going to exercise 7 days a week for 30-minutes, or read one chapter of scripture each day. WHY? Because I will not let you fail. I will not allow egg-throwing (and just to be clear: I’m far from being a wimpy coach with clients that don’t succeed).

What I will do is ask you to set a goal–like the 5-minutes of exercise each day. Because I know a trick. You’ll see that 5-minutes and laugh. But you’ll do it. And at the end of the week you’ll have succeeded AND there is a fairly good chance that one of those days you walked for longer than 5-minutes. Yes, I tricked you. But it worked, and next week you believe in yourself. You have hope.

And that little bit of hope and belief does miracles. You’ll start learning to do things in ways where you succeed. And momentum builds. And before long are learning to reach and gently push yourself in ways that help you start to fly. To really truly fly without smashed eggs (and that’s just one trick up my sleeve–I got a couple more–oh yeah baby, I do!).

So, I’ll finish where I started: Ignoring your fragileness is the quickest way to break.
Now, I think you really do understand. And don’t forget, you really were born to fly.

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Coaching For A Creative WholeHearted Life™

Life Coach: MS, CLC, PCC ~~~ Creativity Coach: KMCC, CCA, Art4Healing®

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14 thoughts on “Throwing Fragile Eggs

  1. You are awesome! I chuckled at the self-help book sales soaring through the roof. Makes sense, they set us up for failure and then sell us another book 🙂 but I love that someone gets it, really gets it. You know what, I didn’t imagine my dad in the hospital nor my husband following him right in after and I didn’t imagine it would last this long. I could be really upset and frustrated with myself or I can be gentle and know that in time me and my eggs will fly and they really will fly to new heights because I allowed myself the time to be honest and real. I allowed myself the cupcake(s) even if I couldn’t make it to the gym and in time, this too will change 🙂 Did I mention you are awesome?! Thanks for always keeping it real 🙂

    • Oh Christine, you got girl. You got it.
      It’s really hard too when we start comparing ourselves to all the success of everyone else (although most of the time those success and inflated, and what success there is has come through blood, sweat, and tears that most will never see.
      Thanks Christine…. you got it.

  2. Oh my friend you were right – if this isn’t God!! You had me crying at the very first sentence! There’s so much I could say but I’ll leave it at “thank you” from the bottom of my heart! And “Hope” ya, that was my word on the last page of my watercolor art journal last month. ❤

    • There is an ocean of goodness inside that hope egg of yours. Just hold it, love it, learn why it’s yours. Sharon you are ever so welcome…from the bottom of my heart. As I try to envision what’s really written on the outside of that egg… I see something oh.so.important. that is yours and yours alone. Mercy Travels Sharon.

  3. I know I already commented but I had to let you know that even in the midst of it all, it was actually right here with my dad and a friend at his hospital today when God birthed a dream egg. God is awesome!

  4. After birthing a couple eggs….I am back in the incubation process; nurturing, listening, uncovering, sitting…..waiting patiently. Because chickens like us….we lay and hatch more than one egg, in more than one season. ❤
    Lesley

    • Well Sherry, Unfortunately, everything you said hit home w/me also. I think I’ve been juggling an egg w/our mutual art group for awhile now and I feel like it’s not ready to fly and I just need time to incubate. Does that make sense? I love all the ladies in our group, but w/my mom and my son needing so much of my time and energy I just think I need to bring it down. It has been so great knowing you and doing art w/you and all the girls, but I need to write a note to Karen now. Hope we can keep in touch somehow. Maybe I can show up just for fun once in awhile when my schedule permits. I wouldn’t mind getting together sometime w/you as my coach too!! Love&Peace Loretta

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