Self Coaching 101: Story Telling

talkingThey were stuck on repeat. And it hurt my heart. That’s when I told a client, “If you can’t show (say) how you came out the other side, then your story does little for the retelling of it.”

There was a moment of silence. And yeah, I started rethinking what I said. Maybe it was too harsh, or maybe it was so vague that my client didn’t understand. The maybes were getting loud in my head and filling the void of quiet on the phone.

We all have a story.
Lots of them.
Where we lost something—an injustice happened—we were wronged.

These are the stories we tell.
(and let’s be honest, we aren’t often telling of the things that went right in our lives…because we all think those are naturally supposed to happen…and when I say “we”—I mean “me.”)

There was a time I retold a story in my life (okay several stories)—over and over and over and over. The short “story” – I was upset as the wrong-doer(s) never apologized. Never even understood the damage they did to me. And I would tell my friends—anyone that would listen—to my story. In hopes that their assurances of ‘wrongness’ would salve the deep gashes to my soul.

And it was never enough.
It should have been.
But it wasn’t.


Okay, so maybe you’re not like this…because you’ve got a therapist—mentor—coach—spiritual director—that helps you along. Or maybe you’ve got your shit stuff together. Either way—if this isn’t for you, then take note for your friends/family that are “telling stories.”

We all know a good story when we hear one. Captivating stuff, tragedy and humor. But in the end…there is a lesson. A take away. The “ahh-ha.”

Does your story have the “ahh-ha” yet?

This is when you get the lesson from the hurt. And the lesson is NOT, “some people are idiots.” Nope. Instead the lesson will look like something that made your soul grow, stretch, become more grace-filled. Either for yourself, or someone else.

And I’m not going to call the end of the story a happy ending. Some lessons are bitter-sweet. But it is a conclusion that, in English class we called, a “Universal Meaning.”

Every story that comes to conclusion has one—without exception. Sometimes the “Universal Meaning” is a bit subjective—but some meaning, reasoning, lesson is there to gain.

So, that story of hurt you’re telling or hearing. Yes, it needs to be told when the wound is fresh, or freshly discovered. But from there…are you working towards digging and uncovering the “ahh-ha” — the “universal meaning” —the thing that makes your soul expand to grace?

Dear Sweet Story-Telling Soul,
What story are you telling…that is hanging and waiting for the last chapter?
Your story—in the end—points to you becoming better.
You transforming.
You being ready and able to help someone else.
It helps you find healing in the expansion of your soul.
So, find that trusted person to tell your story to—once.
And then ask for help.
Pray for help.
Help to discover the place for your soul to learn, expand, grow.
You’re not alone—we all have buckets of stories.
I for one, am rooting you on.
So, find the ahh-ha. Work at it. Work for it.
You are so worth it.
Much Hugs,


Embracing Your Creative WholeHearted Life™
Artist ~ Teacher ~ Dreamer ~ Believer (in you…in the GOoDness)
Life Coach: MS, CLC, PCC ~~~ Creativity Coach: KMCC, CCA, Art4Healing®
© 2008-2013 Sherry Meneley All Rights Reserved soiled wings createheart create heart art journal journaling process art therapy

One thought on “Self Coaching 101: Story Telling

  1. I just began realizing that very thing. Thank you for making it crystal clear that i am finally unraveling the answers hidden within instead of replaying the pain over and over again.

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