Untangling Knots

knotCan we talk. Just dish for a moment?

Few things are worse when unpacking than necklaces thrown into a bag/box and finding them in an impossible tangle of knots. Don’t you think?

Or how about waking up in the morning (especially if your hair is loooooong like mine) to find a head full of tangles and knots. (and don’t get me started on the results of a windy day, or being in a convertible car—or all the windows down)

Or how about when you’ve had an awful day, your career isn’t going how you thought, nor your relationships, spiritual life, etc… And then you get an unexpected bill. Oh and others expectations of you are…impossible. You burned the chicken, the cat threw up on the throw rug, you spilt wine on the blanket, and a red sock got in with the white clothes. Oh and no one noticed your new achievement, raise, hair color, shaved head, …what say you. You know when something is really noticeable and the people you come home to or go to work with didn’t even.say.one.thing. And you are left with a tangle of knots in your stomach.

A tangle of knots in your stomach.
A tangle of NOTS in your stomach.

You know that tangle of blanketed things we think.
Sometimes it goes like this:

I’m NOT thin enough.
I’m NOT doing well in my career.
I’m NOT taking care of my bills.
I’m NOT educated like them.
I’m NOT taking care of myself.
I’m NOT what they wanted me to be.
I’m NOT liked.
I’m NOT loved, desired, pursued.
I’m NOT….enough.

These things, one-by-one, tangle everything into impossible (k)nots.

root ballIn-fact before long, all the nots are so knotted, that you think you can’t work on even one issue, because they’ve all become too enmeshed like a root-ball in a too-small pot.

See Sweet Soul, we (and when I say we, I mean me), think of ourselves in too small of pots.

These pots are created from all the “made-up” rules that we apply to ourselves.


I’m only worthy of attention if I’m size 10 (or whatever).
I’m only worthy of love if I do more than my fair share to keep the relationship going.
I’m liked only if I agree with everything they think.
I’m only a good person of {insert you chosen faith here} if I go to {church, temple, synagogue, etc..} every single time.
I can only get that job, or be respected, if I have the degree or alphabet soup behind my name.

And…none of this is true. But, it becomes true in the pot.

Think of it like this:  that beautiful tiny flower-pot, is one we allowed ourselves to be planted in—whether we designed it or others “helped” us in the process. Sometimes trauma and grief are also part of the design. And this pot is where some of us plant ourselves…forever.

That little pot can seem fine at first. We grow. We’re even happy enough. But one day our little roots turn into a knotted root-ball. It becomes so dense and packed, that over time there is not enough water you can get to keep growing.

At some point growth stops. It has nowhere to go. Stagnation like this, over time, often results in death.

Death of…
…becoming all that you were first thought of to be by a Creator that does not live in a box (or pot).

But put that growing thing in the ground, a field, where it is free to grow….
Well you know the result.
Freedom of boxes—pots—free us of the things that stunt us. Stop us. Tangle us up into never-ending (k)nots.

Sweet Soul, if you are thirsting, dying, tired of nots that just should have never been placed on you, then let me tell you something true. You are alive, you still are. And you can be in the biggest field you want.

I know it’s not easy to drop the “nots.” (truth be told, I’ve got a couple to deal with too)
I know what an impossible tangle that ugly bundle of knots seems to be.

But nothing is impossible.

Sweet Soul, there is no one way to break free. But I can tell you this starting place. Write down the “nots” you’ve been saying—outloud—secretly in your head—to those around you. You have them. We all do if we’re being honest. And then ask yourself: “is that true.”

Your “not” will never be true.
It just won’t.
If you dig deep enough, you’ll see—it’s never true.
It’s just that silly little flower-pot we thought we were supposed to be in.

What if we broke free? Got out…

Hey, I’ll meet you in the field.
Come on. Let’s just grow wild.
Free. Like we are supposed to be.
With buckets of grace and living water..

Embracing Your Creative WholeHearted Life™
Artist ~ Teacher ~ Dreamer ~ Believer (in you…in the GOoDness)
Life Coach: MS, CLC, PCC ~~~ Creativity Coach: KMCC, CCA, Art4Healing®
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One thought on “Untangling Knots

  1. Oh this spoke to the core of my soul – such timing! And the anaolgy of the roots in the field and not the pot – oh ya. I’ve got some journaling (and watering) to do. Thank you. I’ve missed my usual Friday mornings with your blog! 🙂

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